Finding Happiness and Peace as a Father.

(Talk for Fathers Day, June 20th, 2004, Mount Juliet Ward).


Good morning brothers and sisters. I have been asked to speak to you today on the subject of how fathers can lead their families to happiness.
About 20 years ago, after returning home from work one evening, I was told by my wife Cathy that it was decided that we were going to have a family get-together in a quite little out of the way place called Lake Skinner. Lake Skinner is hidden behind a quaint little community called Rancho California near Temecula sitting about halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego off Highway 15. We had been there once or twice before for little picnics and family activities. But this time, it was going to be different.
This time we were going to spend the whole weekend. It was never really very crowded there. It must have been a well kept secret. It was beautiful and serine.
The plan was to go down there on Saturday, spend the day, stay the night, and come home on Sunday evening.
It had a really great swimming area for the kids. It was a swimming pool that was about 4 feet deep at the deepest point and tapered off down to nothing at the shoreline like a lake. The kids loved it. They could play in there all day long and never get tired of it. At the time, My daughter Jennifer was just a little girl, and my son Gordon was only a toddler
After spending the night on Saturday, I woke up on Sunday morning, eat breakfast and socialized with the family. It was a beautiful day; warm, calm and not a cloud in the sky. One that typifies what southern California is famous for. After finishing my morning meal, and noticing that the kids had already went to play in the water, I picked up a lawn chairs and took it over to the swimming area to relax, watch the kids, and enjoy it.
It was awesome! I was wearing only three things… a swim suit, a pair of flip flops on my feet and my watch. It was around 11:45 AM. I positioned the lawn chair, threw myself down in it, kicked my legs out and assumed the position of rest and relaxation. It was so comfortable.
It was so easy.
I interlocked my fingers behind my neck, and gazed into the clear blue ski enjoying the warmth of the sun rays as they bounce off my face.
I thought to myself, “Oh yeah! This is the life. This is sooo comfortable. This is sooo easy”.
In front of me, I heard the laughter of little children as they splashed and played in the water. Beyond the tree line on the lake, I could hear the faint roar of jet skis bouncing off the water. You know the sound; “vaavoom, va-va-va-voom”. I gazed over to the right and saw a large RV with the side canopy pulled out for shade. Mom and dad were setting up the grill along side it, while their kids, a young boy and a girl had removed their bikes from the rear bike rake and were riding them sidewalks around the compound.
I watched them for a while. Then I Leaned forward in my and began to study their mode of operation. It became apparent to me that they had the routine down “PAT”. This was no special occasion. This was their weekly family tradition. To use a modern idiom, they would probably say, “this is who we are…..this is what we do”.
For the first time in my life I understood the words of the song entitles “Easy” made famous by Lionel Richie. The Hook Line states, “That’s why I’m easy, easy like Sunday morning”.
Easy like Sunday morning? Easy like Sunday morning? Sunday mornings were never easy for me! Getting your entire family to church on time which starts at nine O’clock in the morning and tending to the 32 or so responsibilities that day is the farthest thing from easy. “Mayhem” seems to be a better word.
But that song was not written for you and I……. It was written for the world. For the world, Sunday morning is the easiest time of all. And there I was, on Sunday morning basking in the sun. .As I watched them, it was as if I was looking down a pathway and seeing the end result of a choice between two crossroads, eloquently portrayed by Poet Robert Frost who wrote

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both,
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

I settled back into the lawn chair, and as I did so, I heard a voice. Like the Nephites who heard the introduction of Jesus Christ from the heavens, the voice was not a harsh voice, neither was it a loud voice, nevertheless, and not withstanding it being a small voice, it did pierce me to the center. (3 Ne 11:3) It’s something I will never forget.
It said simply, “Howard, do you know how easy it is to go inactive?”.…..
Although I took it as a rhetorical question, I answered it anyway………. “I do now”.
I took a look at my watch. It was 12:00 straight up. My mind turned to the Upland Second Ward where we were attending at the time. I imagined being there at that moment and seeing what was going on. I knew what was going on. It was the same thing that always goes on at 12:00. All the people are being let out of their classes. The parents are rounding up all the kids and herding them into the family car for the journey home. A few are staying late for meetings, the youth are flirting in the hallways, and I, feeling like Alma during his vision of the celestial kingdom, longed to be there (Alma 36:22).
Now I understand why many people don’t go to church on Sunday. It’s just so much easier not to
I strengthened my resolve and said to myself, “this will never happen to me”.
I made a decision that day. This easy Sunday morning would be the road NOT taken.
Did you ever notice, Sundays are almost always sunny and beautiful. That’s probably WHY it’s called Sunday. Since all light emanates from Jesus Christ, it seems logical to me that the Sun and the Son are somehow interwoven as one and therefore Sunday is really a Sonday and signifies the purpose and events of that Holy day that so few Keep. (D&C 88:6-13)
That was 20 years ago, and since that time I have poured myself into the work of the Lord the best way I know how with the attitude that the Lord could never ask me to do too much for him after what he has done for me.
I have
-never Missed Church except a few times when I was sick.
-Brought my kids to seminary every morning for 12 years.
-brought them to Young Men’s and Young Women’s every Wednesday night.
-brought my family to church every week without fail.
-taught seminary for 5 years at 5:30 AM.
- served as a Seventy, Word Mission Leader, and stake Missionary.
_served in the elders quorum presidency
- served in the scouting program for in various capacities for 2 years.
- been the high priests group leader.
- Been Active as the Scouting Program as a Scoutmaster for many years.
- had family home evening most of the time.
- had family in Family Prayer most of the time.
- read sand studied my scriptures most of the time.

And the Lord has blessed me tremendously.
- I have had two sons who are Eagle Scouts and one that will become an Eagle Scout soon.
- They have been accepted into Brigham Young University on Academic Schoolership.
- They will all serve missions
- I have a daughter that is married in the temple.

These blessings that the Lord has giving me are greater than I deserve and more than I could ever repay.
One year ago, I received a homemade Fathers Day card from my son Gordon who is serving his mission in California. I would like to read it to you.

The Top Ten Things I Learned From My Dad That Have Helped Me On My Mission.

10. Self Reliance. “The expert Stranger syndrome” – The missionaries are the Gospel experts because they are strangers. I can easily become an “expert” with a little work.
9. Frugality: “You spent how much?” This is a question I ask myself frequently. While other missionaries run out of money by the third week each month, I have enough to pay income tax.


8. Wisdom: I always enjoy asking you for advise. Your answers were always right.
7. Humor: I love your sinse of humor. You can never take things too serious. Your Humor rubbed off on me. Bad companions, people that mock us, spit on us, cuss at us, scream, slam the door, ir try to beat you up-, sometimes you just have to laugh…(at them)
6. Ingenuity: Window Calking for “Shoe Height Adjustment”, lead me to resole my shoes with show goo and bicycle tires.
5. Good Taste: If you don’t like what members feed you, Just ask for Mustard.
4. Diligence: Many times in the last 18 years, I saw you reading your scriptures eary In the morning, Never missing a church meeting, fulfilling callings, and on your knees, praying. This example left me with a compelling impressin of the typr of person I should be.
3. Hard Work: Holding 2 jobs and 3 calling, and fixing the cars at the same time- that example makes me want to work harder.
2. Faith: Unwaivering Faith” – I have necver seen an ounce of doubt in your faithfulness to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. This gospel has always been the top priority. This faith has made me grow so\iritually, strengthened my faith and reinforced what I know is true.
1. I saw how much you love your family by the time you spent with us – taking us on trips, teaching us, listening to me, and blessing us through the priesthood. I saw how much you loved the Lord by how much you served him. And his church and always have tried to help others. I hope I have showed some of that same love in my missionary efforts.

There is more joy and happiness for me in receiving a letter like this than any worldly success which is fleeting and temporary. I am the luckiest man in the world.
The final verse to the Robert Frosts poem reads, ………

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Brothers and sisters, Look down the path less traveled by. It’s not the easy path. It’s the hard one. It’s a lot of work. We have made so many mistakes along the way, but we have always made sure to get back on the straight and narrow path each time we fell off.
The greatest things that fathers can do to bring happiness to their families is
Fallow the prophets, They know the way. Live the gospel, lead their families in family prayer, teach them the gospel from the scriptures, give them priesthood blessings, Love them, help them, work with them. Every one of us can have eternal exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom if we make the right choices and follow the example of the savior to come unto Christ and be perfected in him