Chapter 1.

In Days of Yore.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Jethro. Jethro fell in love with a beautiful girl named Ellie May. Jethro and Ellie May got married and they were very happy together. They looked forward to the wonderful life ahead that lay in store for them. They had just about everything that anyone could want. They had a beautiful home, a couple of nice cars, televisions, stereos, a Ski boat and all kinds of appliances. They had just about anything that anyone could ever want.
Then one day a beautiful little child arrived. It was a girl, her name was Zooba. She was cute and lovable. Then shortly thereafter, a new little boy came into the family. His name was Hondo. He was handsome and adorable. The new little family enjoyed eating out at nice restaurants and taking family trips together.
The reason that they were happy and could have so many nice things was because they had a whole lot of very special cards. These cards were given to them by the leaders of society. These cards had their very own names right on them and they signified that the owner of the card was a Very Important Person. They were much more important then anyone that didn’t have the cards. The cards came in different colors. There were red white and blue ones, silver ones, platinum ones, and mommy’s favorite, the gold one. It was very powerful. Just by showing these cards to the people at the stores, they could have anything they wanted. e r
One evening late at night when the family was all together watching TV on there large screen television, they heard some funny noises coming from the back yard. They all wondered what it was. But they were busy watching TV so they ignored it. And it stopped after a while.
The next day, when they were eating dinner they heard the noises again, but this time it was a little louder. It was kind of scary. It was spookier then the day before. Ellie May was startled and the children looked scared. But daddy said “it will be all right children, it’s probably nothing”.
Later that night just after they went to bed, the children heard it again and came running into their mommy and daddy’s bedroom. They jumped into bed with them. This time it was frightening and it lasted a long time. Their mommy and daddy heard it too. They were just as scared but tried not to show it in front of the kids. They huddled up together and were safe until the morning came.
The next day, it happened again, but it was really loud this time. It was VERY scary and was so loud that they couldn’t even hear themselves talking to each other. The terrible commotion caused so much stress in the family that they started fighting with each other all the time trying to figure out what to do.
This was a very serious problem. It got so serious that daddy decided he had to go out to the backyard and see what was going on back there. He very carefully tiptoed to the backyard. He looked around the back yard shinning his flashlight back and forth to see what was going on back there. He noticed that over in the corner of the yard were two glowing beady red eyes starring at him. He thought it might be a dog, so he went over to check it out. When he got about 15 feet away, the thing leaped into the air toward him letting out a ferocious roar:
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-
AAAAAAAAAOOOUUUWWWW”
He turned around and ran back into the house as fast as he could and closed the door behind him. “What was it, dear”, Mother asked. “It was something really, really ugly, and quite terrible. It wasn’t real big but it was very mean. I think it was a little Monster.”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Mother laughed. “There is no such thing as monsters. I’ll check it out in the morning when it’s light out after you go to work.” Daddy didn’t want her to see it because it was so ugly and dangerous. He worried about her going back there all alone. However, it’s possible that she would see something clearer in the daytime that was different than what he saw that night.
The next morning Ellie May went out to the back yard to see the silly little monster that Jethro told her about. She couldn’t see anything anywhere. Then all of the sudden there was a ferocious yell coming from the roof. Ellie May looked up, and saw the Monster. It was a 100 times uglier in the day time where she could see everything about the monster. It had dirty slimy messy hair all over its body. Its face was so hideous and disgusting that you could not look at it or you would die of fright.
She was mortified. She screamed as loud as she could and ran into the garage. But the monster chased her into the garage. Ellie May ran to the corner of the garage, but the monster cornered her there and she had no way to escape. Right next to her was the upright freezer. She didn’t know what else to do so she grabbed the freezer door and opened it. She swung the door around in front of her to shield her from the monster. There, she cowered into a little ball in the corner of the garage behind the freezer door hoping that the monster would go away and not hurt her. Suddenly, the deafening roaring noise stopped. She heard the monster rummaging around inside of the freezer. She was so scared, she couldn’t stop shaking. Then she heard the monster eating some of the food that was in the freezer. He was munching and chewing and swallowing and making little grunting noises and slurping noises as he ate the food from the freezer. When he was all done eating, there was no more growling and roaring anymore from the monster. She peaked around the freezer and saw him from behind as he was walking out of the garage back into the back yard. He seemed to be satisfied. “I guess he just wanted something to eat,” she thought. She went into the house and locked the door behind her. “I’m glad he’s happy now, but I still don’t like the idea if him living in our back yard,” mother said to herself.
That evening, at the diner table, she told Jethro, Zooba, and Hondo what happed to her. Jethro was very concerned and the kids were so scared they decided that they were never going into the back yard to play again.
Jethro called to police and asked them come over to see if they could take the monster away. The police told them that the monster is to scary and mean and powerful and that there was nothing they could do to make him go away.
Day after day went by and the family started getting use to living with the monster in their back yard. It wasn’t fun at all but they learned to live with it. They realized that as long as they kept feeding the monster, he would be happy and would not get too mean. So they had to buy a lot of extra food. They were afraid that the monster would eat them if they didn’t feed him. So every day they had to make sure that they fed the monster.
One night, they didn’t have enough food. The monster got so mad that he broke some of the windows and was stomping on the roof of the house. Daddy had to go to the store and by ten carts full of food to feed the monster just so he would be happy and stop threatening to kill us and eat us.
Eventually, everyday, when daddy came home from work he would ask, “Did you feed the monster! Often, they had to tell him that they didn’t because they didn’t have any more food. So daddy would get a panic stricken look in his face and rush off to the store to get more food to feed the monster.
The interesting thing about this monster is that every time they fed it, it would keep getting bigger and stronger. They didn’t want to feed it because if they did it would keep growing and need even more food, but if they didn’t feed it, it would terrorize them and threaten to destroy them.
One day, Jethro went to the library to do some research on monsters. He found the name of an expert on monsters. His name was Marty the Monster Man. He knew everything about Monsters. Jethro called him on the telephone and asked him to come over and take a look at their monster. Marty came over, and after taking one look at our monster, dove into his car and drove off as fast as he could screaming “AAAAAAAHHHHHH” out the window of his car until we couldn’t see him any more. He drove non-stop to Phoenix Arizona, where he called us on the phone. He told us that the monster we have in our back yard is the most terrible monster ever known to mankind. The official name of this monster is

“Diabolical Evil of Barbaric Terror”

This was a hard name to remember so we just made an acronym of it and called it the D.E.B.T. Monster.
The DEBT monster kept growing day after day after day. Finally, one day, when Jethro was on his way home from work he saw the DEBT monster sitting on the roof of his house from six blocks away. He had gotten so big that his gigantic feet were planted firmly on the ground. He tried to look away because the monster was so ugly but it was unavoidable. The DEBT monster was looking down the chimney and roaring so loud, the family thought the whole house was going to collapse.
The DEBT monster not get any food that day because they family didn’t have any way to get it for him. When the DEBT monster saw daddy getting out of the car without any food, he went Crazy. Daddy said to the DEBT monster, “please don’t eat us, I’m going to the store to get some food for you right now”. That seemed to please the DEBT Monster so he waited patiently sitting on the house until daddy came back. But when daddy got to the check out line at the grocery store with 32 carts of groceries to feeds the monster, he showed them his card and the people said that his card was no good. He couldn’t buy any groceries. He then pulled out of his wallet 37 other cards to show them, but they said that they were all no good.
This was a terrible day. Nothing seems to be going right at all. When daddy got home, and the DEBT monster saw that daddy didn’t have any food, the DEBT monster got very, very angry. He started going so crazy the family locked themselves in the house had huddled in the bathroom hoping that everything would be Okay. They all got into the bathtub because they were told that was a good place to hide in case of a tornado. There was nothing else they could do, so they said a little prayer and asked Heavenly Father to please help them and save them from the DEBT Monster. But all night long the monster got madder and madder.
Hondo peeked out the bathroom window and saw him picking up one of the cars and throwing it down the street into a junk yard. It must have been totally wrecked. Then Zooba peeked out the window and saw him jumping up and down and stomping on the other car until it was totally flattened like a pancake. Then he must have gotten really hungry because he tried to eat the ski boat. It must have tasted terrible to him because it just made him even madder.
Then he got even angrier, and he ripped the roof off the house and threw it into the street. Then he started kicking the walls until they all caved in and the entire house was ruined. The water main was busted and water was splashing everywhere. The stereo unit and TV and everything in the entire house became ruined. Then suddenly the gas line to the heater broke and a terrible fire erupted. Everything was burning, all of it going up in smoke until there was nothing left.
The DEBT monster must be afraid of fire because when the remnant of the house started burning, he ran off making an awful noise and they have never heard from him or seen him since.
There they stood, in the front yard of the house watching every bit of it go up in smoke. When the fire burned down and the smoke had cleared, there was nothing left but a small heap of ashes and the chard remains of the empty refrigerator.
Ellie May was crying hysterically. Zooba and Hondo stood by clutching their Teddy Bears. The Teddy Bears were Christmas Presents from Grandma and Grandpa and were the only things they owned that were not gotten with the special cards. With tears streaming down their faces, comforting one another, not knowing what to do or where to go, they looked into each others eyes and there seemed to be an unspoken communication. Everyone knew what each other was thinking. A sigh of relief came over them and they began to smile. Then they started laughing. Then they started celebrating. The DEBT monster was gone!!!
They had lived with the Diabolical Evil of Barbaric Terror for so long, they had forgotten what it felt like to be free. They learned how great life can be finding freedom from the DEBT monster, but it took the DEBT monster to teach them to truly appreciate their new found freedom.